Part of this whole “graduating thing” (assuming it actually happens, we’re still holding our breath) is taking time to figure out what comes next. For a lot of people I know, this has looked like a couple things. “Applying for jobs” and “applying for doctoral programs” have been some popular options.
I, on the other hand, have decided to go for a third. “Freaking the fuck out.”
Now, you may not think this is the most practical choice, and I would be inclined to agree with that. Any option is better than finding yourself paralyzed to the point of inaction, regardless of the cause of paralysis. In this case, my paralysis is caused by, among other things, the utter lack of any idea of what I really want to do.
I get that this dilemma, trying to decide what I want to do, is most-decidedly a “first world” problem. Sitting in a Panera, pondering where I think my talents will be best utilized (or maybe more accurately, how I would best like to use them) is a conversation I’m privileged to be able to have. And, unless my calendar’s wrong… it’s a privilege I have for about three more weeks.
Then, for the first time since pre-school, I am going to have to get down to the business of being something other than a student. Everything I’ve done in that time has been set up around a school’s schedule, been performed under a school’s rules, and done with the intent of reaping whatever rewards an academic institution could sow.
The game, ladies and gentlemen, is about to change.
The people around me, my co-workers and fellow students, are all making this transition with varying degrees of success, but they all seem to be doing it… differently than I am. People are applying places, interviewing places, getting jobs places, while I’ve been… umm… tweeting? I guess?
And here’s why this hasn’t been working for me, as verbalized in the Muncie Panera.
“You know how people say they’re not really a ‘phone’ person? I might not be a “job” person.”
That is, of course, a ridiculous notion, and one that I can’t afford to have be true. I’m going to become a job person, quickly, but the question of what I’m particularly suited to do is one that I don’t think I can answer.
Let’s run down my skill set.
1. Presentation Aides - I’m incredibly impressive when it comes to designing Powerpoints, as long as the people judging the powerpoints aren’t aware of the work that’s being done by people like Garr Reynolds or the staff at Duarte Designs.
2. Snarkiness - I wouldn’t say I’m the funniest person I know, but occassionally, when I’m firing on all cylinders, I will come up with the greatest Randy Pausch-related voice mail you’ve ever heard in your life.
3. Being Alex Jonathan - This is the hardest of my skills to explain. I am just incredibly good at doing what I do. The problem is labeling and quantifying that. The “Alex Jonathan” experience is not for everyone (clearly…), and in the past I’ve done an incredibly effective job of ensuring that the people who were very interested in being a part of my story had a really hard time sticking around without getting run over (sorry, fork). But at the core, somewhere firewalled behind all the things I’ve created to keep people out and to keep myself from being hurt or feeling like a failure or winding up alone or winding up with someone, there is something quite awesome.
There’s been countless people over the years (Twitter Name Drop! @liznull @mrsdalloway @ashleymcfalls among many others) who’ve worked like mad to get me to buy into my own hype, to realize that is something in there worth fighting for, or to keep this mildly on topic, worth hiring.
So, dear world, while I may not be a “job” person, I do realize that the one thing I do really well is be Alex Jonathan. I’m ridiculously indebted to the people name-dropped above and dozens of others, for showing me exactly what that could look like. The last bit of the puzzle might be realizing that just because I’m getting paid for it, (and maybe doing it while selling paper or sump pumps or slinging coffee) it’s still important, and always going to be what I do best.
And that “Alex Jonathan experience” is officially on the market.
